Sammie's Corner

Welcome to Sammie's Corner

My name is Samantha, some of you probably remember me from book three of Love, Lies and Karma. In case you don't know who I am, allow me to Reintroduce myself. 

Well, like I said, my name is Samantha but most people call me Sammie or Sam. I met my ex Sincere a few years ago and I would say I regret it but I cant. I cant regret it because although Sincere "ruined" me in a sense, he helped me in more ways than one. He taught me alot about myself and I'm sure he learned about himself as well. If I never met Sin, I would have never met the AMAZING SEXY MAN I am able to call my husband today. 

While in a relationship with Sincere, I contracted the Herpes Virus. Herpes Simplex Virus 2 aka Genital Herpes. Wanna know how I felt when I found out? Below is an excerpt from K.Tanae's novel, Love, Lies and Karma 3. Oh and "Baby Rag" is my husband but he was my boyfriend when I found out.. okay go read..

“Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!”, I screamed as I sat on the toilet to pee. I don’t know why or what happened but it was the most painful piss I’ve ever taken. I couldn’t even finish peeing because it hurt that bad. I guess Lance heard me scream because before I could open the bathroom door, he was right there. “Whats wrong Smitty?”, he asked very concerned. His eyes weren’t even completely opened, “Im okay, it just burned when I pee’d”. Now his eyes opened, “what you mean it burned?”, he asked me. “I sat down and when pee started coming out, it hit my lip and burned really bad”, I said as I reached down to wipe myself. “Ouch”, I couldn’t bare the feeling of the tissue touching me. “You cant wipe?”, now he sounded very concerned. “Babe I cant wipe”, I was crying now. “It hurts so bad”, I said as I sat back down on the toilet. “Did you use a new body wash or something Smitty?”, he asked as he walked closer to me. “No”, I said through my sobs. “Want me to look?”. My head snapped up so fast, “Can you look where?”, I asked him. He looked down at my vahjay and smirked. “You wanna look in it to see if you can see whats wrong?”, I was shocked as hell. “Smitty I done seen plentl….ive seen a vahjay before, just let me see if I see anything in there”, I couldn’t help but laugh. “In here?”, I asked him since he was now in charged. “Nah, go lay on the bed”, he instructed. I got off the toilet, “Don’t judge me, you know I usually wipe my ass”. He couldn’t do anything but laugh.

As I lay down on the bed, I couldn’t help but wonder what I did to deserve such a sweet, understanding man. I constantly thanked GOD for bringing Lance into my life because as of right now, I really appreciated having someone in my corner. When Rag walked in the room, he had a towel wrapped around his waist and some plastic gloves on. “Boy you aint bout to touch me with no gloves used to clean toilets”, I said as I snapped my legs together on the bed. “Fine, I was trying to be the doctor”, he laughed as he removed the big yellow gloves. “Now….Open up”, he said.

Now normally, I’d have no problem opening my legs to a man I was with but Lance and I had never went that far. I know its hard to believe but the most we did was kiss, heavy kissing. “Smitty, come on cuh, quit acting like I was never going to see her”, he smiled,referring to my vahjay. I did as I was told, I opened my legs. “Now lets see whats going on down unda”, he said as he allowed his fingers to open my lips. My left thigh jumped, “Ouch”, I said. “Real shit babe, its red down here. And wet”, he looked up at me with a mischievous grin. “Are there any bumps?”, I asked him, ignoring his advance. He opened my lips again and this time he opened my inner lips. “Yea babe, its like 1,2….3.4…4 little white bumps right here, what that mean?”, he asked as he continued his exam. I reached over and grabbed my phone, “I don’t know, let me google it”. I reached over for my iPhone that was charging, unlocked it and I typed “White bumps inside vagina & painful urination”into Google.. The first thing that popped up was “Genital Herpes”. I started shaking uncontrollably. “Go wash your hands”, I yelled at Lance. He didn’t move, he looked at me like I was crazy. “Whats wrong Smitty?”, he asked me. I didn’t answer him. I rolled over and laid in fetal position even though it hurt really bad. I rocked myself back and forth.

I heard the water turn on in the bathroom and I started crying. I’ve cried so much these days, its crazy. I felt Lance climb in the bed behind me. He pulled me into him and hugged me tight. “Baby its okay, we knew it was a chance right?”, he whispered in my ear. “But….but you don’t deserve a pregnant bitch with herpes, you deserve someone much better than me”, I couldn’t help the way I felt. I felt like I was damaged goods. Lance sat up and made me look at him, “Don’t ever let me hear you say nothing like that again! You are a great woman, you were just dealt a bad hand but you know what good card you were dealt?”, he asked. I looked at him as to say what. He said, “You got a KING of hearts in your hand babe, and I told you I'm not going nowhere.” Every question or doubt I had about him vanished that moment. I didn’t deserve him but God put him in my life for a reason so I was going to embrace it.

Yeaaaa. So it wasn't the easiest thing to find out about myself but I'm happy I had such a GREAT man by my side. Never has my husband made me feel any less of a woman because of the virus I carry. I actually think it made him love me more. 

I am opening up about it now because Herpes is a BIG DEAL. A HUGE DEAL! So many people turn their noses up and even say some of the meanest shit but that's because they don't know any better. I've taken it upon myself to help educate them, first hand, from the mind and soul of a woman living with Herpes. 

On this page, I'll post my journal entries, never know who it'll help. Ill also post the "Do's and Donts" and alot of information that's not on the web. You will find information about every other STD except HERPES which is sad but I'm gonna help educate my people. You can judge me if that makes you feel better about yourself or you can pass the information along :)

- sammie