If you didn’t read the heal with me mini series, you probably won’t overstand why this hit the way it does. I was skeptical about posting this because I really don’t want the attention but I’m a creative and I needed a release. So... here ya go .. It wasn’t until my forehead touched the cold porcelain for the umphteenth time thst I realized ... I’m pregnant ! I shivered in shook and trembled in fear, I didn’t know what to expect but I was ready for it. I’d recently admitted that I did indeed want kids and it seemed like Spirit blessed me right away. But in 6 weeks time, it all was taken away. I was able to see you for the first time on January 28, 2020. I saw you. I knew you were inside of me but it’s true that it all changes when you actually see your baby. Ppl look at me funny when I say baby bc they swear you aren’t anything when you’re so new but to me, you were my baby. “Um.. I don’t see any blood flow inside the fetus.. and there’s no heartbeat. But sometimes 6 w
Heal with me - I forgive me For a long time I didn’t know I had to forgive in order to heal or get over things. I also didn’t know the main person I needed to forgive was myself. I took responsibility for my actions in situations but I didn’t forgive myself for being in those situations. I say that because I knew better than to do a lot of shit that I did. I knew when the time was up on certain things BUT I stayed anyway and basically hurt myself even more. After a while, I forgave myself. I wrote myself an apology because I deserved it. I needed to know why I did what I did and didn’t do. I needed to tell myself sorry for all the pain that was self inflicted majority of the time. I accepted my own apology and the apologies I never got from others. Thinking about it now though, people really don’t think they’re wrong sometimes and I know this to be true. We’re all humans so I guess that’s why they tell us to forgive and move on. And that goes for all types of relationships and fr